The Anti-Chore System That Finally Worked
May 13, 2025
Why Every Chore System Fell Apart (Until This One)
I tried all the “traditional” chore systems: checklists, sticker charts, whiteboards, rotating jobs.
And guess what? They all failed.
Not because we’re lazy. Not because we didn’t try.
But because none of those systems were built for how our home actually functions.
So I stopped trying to make a chore system that worked like everyone else’s—and built one that actually worked for us.
Let’s walk through the anti-chore mindset, and the Cue System structure that finally made shared responsibility sustainable.
Why Traditional Chore Charts Don’t Work in Neurodivergent or Caregiver Homes
- They require constant oversight, tracking, and prompting (which adds to your mental load)
- They assume energy and executive function are consistent (they’re not)
- They break the moment someone has a meltdown, a late night, or an unexpected schedule change
- They put pressure on follow-through rather than simplifying the process
🔹 Key Message: The problem isn’t chore resistance—it’s that the system doesn’t match the people using it.
What Makes an Anti-Chore System Different?
- It’s flexible, not fixed
- It starts with cues, not calendars
- It’s visual and self-resetting (no one has to manage it daily)
- It builds in momentum, not perfection
A good system doesn't need enforcement—it creates natural follow-through.
3 Shifts That Made Our Home Systems Finally Work
✅ 1. We focused on the idea of clean as you go.
- You never have to set aside time to clean - it's built into each activity, taking minutes instead of hours.
- We moved the cleaning products as close as possible to the area being cleaned - no more running to the hall closet or other bathroom for supplies or cleaning cloths.
✅ 2. We made the system visible
- Labels, bins, basket placement = everyone knows where things go
- The system “teaches” what needs to happen without constant reminders
✅ 3. We stopped expecting consistency and built in cues
- A cue triggers action: full basket = laundry load
- These natural loops keep things moving without needing a list and never need to be reset.
Why This Works (Even When Life Gets Chaotic)
- Because it doesn’t rely on motivation—it relies on structure
- Because it doesn’t expect perfection—it rewards presence
- Because it doesn’t break under pressure—it adjusts with your capacity
You need a system that makes sense for your family’s bandwidth.
- If chore systems have never worked in your house, you’re not failing—you’re trying to use the wrong tools.
- When you shift to systems built on cues, visibility, and flexibility - things start to flow.
💬 Want help designing a Cue-Based Home Care System that works for your family? Join us inside 👉 Parent Caregivers: Productivity for Real Life:
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